“The ability to define yourself allows you to awaken to your true identity, embracing strengths and weaknesses. When you learn to identify yourself as you are, you will understand differences in others and your true identity and self-worth will remain intact.”
I am not talking about our role as a parent, spouse, friend, business owner, artist, male, female, teacher, student or any other hat or role we might embrace as our identity. The above forms of personal description are labels and roles that way play at different levels. When we go to a party, we socialize in a different form as compared to when we would be at a dinner table with family, at our jobs, a meeting, work or vacation. Our true identity surfaces in the mist of silence and solitude.
Why is it important to identify who we are???
When we understand ourselves, who we are, what triggers our fears, our courage, the things we believe in, we are better able to stand.
The ability to understand yourself will create balance and peace within you. When we understand our life is 100% our responsibility, decide that emotions and reactions are a personal choice, and take charge of our life, we will be on our way to defining our true self-identity as we will no longer be defined by comparison, opinion nor circumstance.
I once tried out for basketball, I did not make it. Not only did I not make it into the team, I was bullied by some in the classroom for not making into the team. I went home, cried about it, thought about it, and questioned my self-worth several times. I realized in that moment that my self-worth was not attached to my failure or inability to make it into a team, my self-worth and strength came from within.
I chose to practice, took the time to learn one skill at a time, and just when I thought I was ready, my parents decided to move to the US. I was devastated, I had practiced and mentally prepared for a specific team and a month prior to moving, I had to shift my thoughts into not only a different home, but different culture, region and area.My family had limited funding, the school was new to me, my parents did not support my decision to play sports, and most of my friends at the time did not involve themselves in sports either.
I learned that I had to stay positive about practicing, focus on the goals, persist on the things I wanted to achieve and put more emphasis on the fact that I had a coach that believed in me, friends that supported me, but most important, I learned to believe in myself. When you understand who you are, define your identity and believe in yourself, the rest of your life will fall into place. Your focus is now on the aspects of your life that bring forward movement and improvement.
When I focused on progress, I had no more excuses.
We each have an internal voice and pivotal moments in our lives that can either make or break the course of our futures, the moment when we decide this is how my story will continue. This is when we take charge of our life, in the present we create our futures. I had to come to terms with these three concepts within myself.
I had to work with the present.
I almost did not walk into the gym, I almost did not take a step to move forward, I almost decided to settle for a life that was less than what I thought I could accomplish at that specific moment in my life.
I was nervous, anxious, excited and almost did not walk past the double doors that were the entrance to the gym.
Had I not made that choice, I would have not learned all the things that became part of my life. I wouldn’t have met the coach that taught me more than basketball. I learned to believe in myself, life skills, and how to keep pushing toward achieving goals. I would have never met the friends I still keep in touch with from those early days, and I would have never stumbled upon my strength.
If you know your self, nobody can break you, stop you, accuse you. If you know yourself you have no need for hate. If you know yourself you only have room for love and respect. If you know yourself not only do you love yourself, you lift others. If you know yourself you say no to anything that does not serve you, grow you, nourish you or lift you. If you know yourself you know your self-worth comes from within. If you know yourself you are confident from within. If you know yourself your inner peace is not disturbed by external stimuli. If you know yourself you stand.
I was raised to believe that excellence is the best deterrent to racism or sexism. And that’s how I operate my life.